I’d first like to state that writing a PUBLIC journal entry for personal writing is asking for more drama, and more issues regardless if you think so or not. I understand the idea of public writing, for someone to see, because I have done it, but don’t state that you are not looking to cause more drama. So I will openly state that this is directed to you Katy. From MY opinion, you did chose a side those nights in New York City. You state that people show their true colors during a traumatic event, well Katy, if you didn’t know, some people are not level headed and think irrationally during traumatic events due to stress, anger, being scared, and unfamiliar environment. I lash out when I feel threatened, singled out, frightened, worried, nervous, and betrayed. All natural feelings. Neither one of us acted our normal selves after that accident. We were all hurt, scared, angry and nervous. We all wanted to go home, some more then others. But you need to understand, you were the passenger. You were not the driver therefore your not feeling the same emotions as that person. I was not the most injured, so I do not feel the same emotions as that person. For you deciding to base a friendship on something that happened and I apologized for several times is sad, and contradicts you considering yourself there for me. You are not the one who had to go home to face a completely different reality. You need to understand I never meant to lash out at you or Mel. Everything was extremely exaggerated and to be honest, it still is. I don’t think you ever actually put yourself in my shoes to ever feel how I felt. I am younger then you, I do act differently when I experience things for the first time. I’m not always mature about things when I am not thinking clearly. I am 20 years old, and you are 24. Imagine being 20 years old and realizing that you lost the final thing you worked for and then having your best friend injured, and two people who went in this with you together, are making you feel singled out, and even more so now. I’m not asking you to change your opinion and I know you’ve had several days to think about all this, but so have I. That trip did not end friendships, you later chose to deliver it that way. I never once stated anything false to you about that accident, and I am still sticking to what the cops said to me, and what I know. But for you to end a friendship because of an accident is sad. Even if it was my fault, or any hard evidence can prove in any way that it was my fault: I was not drunk or under any kind of influence. I did not force you in that vehicle and nor did I intentionally plow in to another vehicle. You act like I planned all this. I think out of this whole scenario, you showed your true colors. Friends are suppose to stick together, and I stuck by your side, as well as Mel. I never once wanted to abandon either of you before and after our return to Florida. But your ultimate decision was not to do this, but to do the exact opposite. I will never fully understand for what reason, best interest or not. But in the fact of a traumatic event you abandoned ship especially when you ultimately think it was my fault. Showing you were no friend to me, and in the worst events especially. You may have been there for me when I needed a friend the least, and even when my heart was hurt the most, but in a disaster you were not, and proven you’re only friends for the easy things, the ones we all move on easily from. You act like this was a crime, like someone committed murder, and someone needs to be punished for their mistake, or misjudgment, and that’s almost scary to know you think of this as someone needing to be severely punished. I don’t think whoever is at fault needs to be punished or needs to suffer. As far as it affecting anyone else, it will affect whomever’ family, especially if not light is shown in my favor. I don’t think you know what can actually happen but I do, and it’s really shitty.

Anyways, Katy, I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am, but I don’t think you’ll ever truly understand. I know in my heart what is true, and I care deeply about you, friend or foe. But your decision is your decision and yours alone. Take care of yourself.