So no more looking back. In a day or so the new year begins. I still feel hopeless as ever. Searching for something that doesn’t exist in my life. 2011 brought so much happiness, yet so much pain. I made decisions that changed my life forever. I did things I can never change or take back. I started relationships I will cherish for the rest of my life and ended ones that didn’t really matter. I started to focus on me, but became distracted by the world and its little mishaps. The truth is, I’m struggling. I am struggling to be the person I want to be, find the love I want to have. Everyone always says you need to find yourself, but I am starting to believe that person in me needs to find me, as love needs to as well. I don’t know why it always takes the new year to approach for me to realize this again. Here I am, barely still 22 and having an epiphany on new years eve, eve.  I am a hopeless romantic. True story. I seek attention from men because I have my “issues.” Of course men do not get it. I am just a nice girl who just wants someone to love her for her and wants them to fall head over heels for her. Especially when everyone around her seems so happy and in love and she’s just well, hopeless. I mean, it’s pathetic when the most you can say for your romantic love life is sex. Which if you were to look at the bigger picture 4 out of 5 are just meaningless. So much for 2011 being at all romantic. It wasn’t at all. It was well, naughty. So anyways, in December of 2010 I joined a dating site. Of which I had a really large love, hate relationship with. Well the truth is it did me WAY more harm then good. Some of my friends found great loves, others got their hearts broken. Mine was broken, but in a much different way. Why I remained on that site after all of that occurred, I could never tell you but I did. The amount of men on that site overwhelms me. The fact not a single one that I had met of the, okay, I’ll be honest, dozens? Maybe not dozens, but the fact not a single one of them really knew what they wanted. And to be honest, I’m not sure what I want out of life either but the one thing I am certain about is the kind of person I want as a constant in my life. This idea has been a constant idea for years through my many changes my idea of a prince still is there and he seems pretty realistic. I just don’t think he exists on the internet. So in 2012, I delete this profile and venture out on my own to see what may or may not exist in the real world. I want to fall over edges with someone while they fall over with me. I’m letting go of everything I have held on to for so long. All the mistakes and regrets over the years I swore to everyone I let go and did not. This time there is no looking back, there is only forward. This will be my biggest accomplish thus far, if I can actually accomplish putting the past behind me. As for photography is concerned 2012 better be my year. I will do nothing but push forward with my business and my creativity until I can accomplish it. I’m in love with the idea of creating images. My main focus will be my passion.  So in 2012 I turn 23. DAMN. Where did time go? Anyways, heres to you 2012. No looking back. You better be a good one.

So no more looking back. In a day or so the new year begins. I still feel hopeless as ever. Searching for something that doesn’t exist in my life. 2011 brought so much happiness, yet so much pain. I made decisions that changed my life forever. I did things I can never change or take back. I started relationships I will cherish for the rest of my life and ended ones that didn’t really matter. I started to focus on me, but became distracted by the world and its little mishaps. The truth is, I’m struggling. I am struggling to be the person I want to be, find the love I want to have. Everyone always says you need to find yourself, but I am starting to believe that person in me needs to find me, as love needs to as well. I don’t know why it always takes the new year to approach for me to realize this again. Here I am, barely still 22 and having an epiphany on new years eve, eve. 

I am a hopeless romantic. True story. I seek attention from men because I have my “issues.” Of course men do not get it. I am just a nice girl who just wants someone to love her for her and wants them to fall head over heels for her. Especially when everyone around her seems so happy and in love and she’s just well, hopeless. I mean, it’s pathetic when the most you can say for your romantic love life is sex. Which if you were to look at the bigger picture 4 out of 5 are just meaningless. So much for 2011 being at all romantic. It wasn’t at all. It was well, naughty. So anyways, in December of 2010 I joined a dating site. Of which I had a really large love, hate relationship with. Well the truth is it did me WAY more harm then good. Some of my friends found great loves, others got their hearts broken. Mine was broken, but in a much different way. Why I remained on that site after all of that occurred, I could never tell you but I did. The amount of men on that site overwhelms me. The fact not a single one that I had met of the, okay, I’ll be honest, dozens? Maybe not dozens, but the fact not a single one of them really knew what they wanted. And to be honest, I’m not sure what I want out of life either but the one thing I am certain about is the kind of person I want as a constant in my life. This idea has been a constant idea for years through my many changes my idea of a prince still is there and he seems pretty realistic. I just don’t think he exists on the internet. So in 2012, I delete this profile and venture out on my own to see what may or may not exist in the real world. I want to fall over edges with someone while they fall over with me.

I’m letting go of everything I have held on to for so long. All the mistakes and regrets over the years I swore to everyone I let go and did not. This time there is no looking back, there is only forward. This will be my biggest accomplish thus far, if I can actually accomplish putting the past behind me.

As for photography is concerned 2012 better be my year. I will do nothing but push forward with my business and my creativity until I can accomplish it. I’m in love with the idea of creating images. My main focus will be my passion. 

So in 2012 I turn 23. DAMN. Where did time go?

Anyways, heres to you 2012. No looking back. You better be a good one.